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  • Writer's pictureelegantwingsofwind

How to Find Someone for a Threesome



Irrespective of why you decide to have a threesome, you are in for a potentially hot experience. A threesome, also known as a menage a trois or a three-way, refers to three consenting adults engaging in sexual activity simultaneously. Sex is supposed to be exciting, and a threesome is one way to push your sexual boundaries. If you want to find someone for a threesome, here are what you want to know and some useful tips for you to find a threesome.


Who Can Engage in a Threesome?


Anyone, both singles, and couples, no matter their sexual interest, can engage in a menage a trois. Although people in relationships sometimes get stuck in the belief that engaging in a threesome can ruin their relationship. On the contrary, it could be what you need to bring energy and fire back to your sex life. As long as you and your partner are secure, free, and open-minded, and you communicate well about your sexual fantasies, you may be ready to add someone to the mix.


Once you are mentally prepared and have decided to have a threesome, the next challenge is to find the right person who is down for it. It is not usually easy to find a threesome partner. However, whether you are a single person willing to try group sex, or a couple looking to explore a threesome, there are ethical ways to find a three-way partner. A ground rule, however, is that you are honest and upfront about your intentions.


Reasons People Have a Threesome


  • To know more about their sexual self

  • To fulfill a fantasy

  • To explore their sexual identity

  • To increase intimacy between partners

How to find a Threesome partner?


If you are interested in a threesome but don't know how to find a partner, you can explore these options.


1. Ask Friends


Sometimes, you don’t have to look too far to find someone interested in having the three-way adventure with you. Of course, you might think, ‘I don’t have friends with such sexual fantasies’. Well, you might be correct, but also, how sure are you? Have you asked them?

If you have that level of trust and comfort with your friend, you could bring up the subject casually to see their reaction. It might surprise you that they are open to trying it.

The benefit of having a threesome with a friend instead of a stranger is that you already know them. You trust them and already have a level of comfort with them. The confidence you already have with them can make the process easier to navigate. The challenge, however, is that a threesome with your buddy can make things a little awkward or potentially ruin the friendship. You can handle this by practicing effective communication, respecting each other’s boundaries, and ensuring everyone's expectations are appropriately aligned.


2. Attend Sex Parties


People come to sex parties for all sorts of reasons, but it is safe to assume that most people at sex parties have a level of interest in group sex. Such parties are usually non-judgmental spaces where group sex talks come up naturally, so it will be less intimidating to make a move for a future threesome. So, hit off some people, exchange your contact info and see how it goes.


3. Go on Dates


People that go on casual dates typically have multiple people they are seeing. If you have someone you are casually dating, mention it randomly to see if they are interested. The person you are dating might have someone else they are dating who is interested, so it is not a huge stretch to bring up the possibility of a threesome. It is an option worth exploring.


4. Visit Sex Clubs


A Sex Club allows you to explore your sexual interest in a fun, safe, and consensual setting. It is possible to find your threesome partner in a sex club. Find a sex club and have fun. You just might find a mate.


5. Use Threesome Dating apps


Using these apps is one of the most popular ways to find a three-way partner. You can explore a dating app if you might feel awkward meeting people personally. Dating apps contain a vast pool of people, so there is a greater possibility of finding someone whose interests align with yours. It's best to be open, honest, and transparent about what you want, so people that are down for it will connect with you. Some popular dating apps where you can find a threesome partner include;

  • Feeld

  • FetLife

  • Fantasy

  • 3Somer

  • 3Fun


6. Respectfully Use threesome sites


You can explore threesome websites that are not explicitly designed for group sex. However, if you are a single person or couple looking to have a threesome partner, be straightforward with your intentions, please visit top sites for threesomes.


7. Attend a Polyam Event


It is not farfetched to assume that some people at a polyamory event might be open to having a threesome. People at these types of events are often open-minded. You can establish good chemistry with people you meet at such events, exchange contacts, and see where the dynamics could end.


What to Talk About Before Things Get Steamy


When it comes to having a menage a trois, clear communication might be uncomfortable. However, the more clarity everyone has, the better. It would help if you exhaustively discussed the following;


1. STI Status and Barrier Methods


You must think about safety first before engaging in a Threesome. Make sure everyone involved has had an STI test done. Also, discuss the barrier methods like condoms, dental dams, gloves, and birth control that everyone will use. No matter how well you know the parties involved, always use protection.


2. Acceptable Sex Acts


Acceptable sex acts are a critical discussion, especially with couples involved. Not everyone can watch their partner have sex with another. You should discuss your sex deal breakers. For example, Are you okay with your partner being penetrated or penetrating another person? Is it okay to kiss or cuddle? Everyone needs to feel respected, safe, and comfortable.


3. Set Boundaries and Stick With Them


Be clear on what you are comfortable with and what you are not. If you don't set your boundaries, things could go overboard when sex starts. For example, if you don't want your butthole touched, say it. It would help if you decided to adopt a safeword in case any act becomes uncomfortable.


4. Threesome Frequency


You need to decide whether the three-way is a one-off experience or it would be continuous. Whatever you conclude on, make sure you stick with it.


5. Confidentiality


You may want to keep the threesome relationship between you, your partner, and the third party. And you can't tell if someone involved would kiss and tell. Make sure to discuss confidentiality and discretion before the clothes come off.


How to Relate After the Experience


A Threesome makes for a potentially awkward situation in your relationship; as such, how you handle the experience afterward matters. Discuss how everyone will sleep after the threeway. You should also be clear on how your interactions would be days, weeks, and even months after the incident. Also, a threesome can potentially develop into a triad. Be clear on whether it is a possibility you are open to or not.


A Threesome is a valid sexual desire, but you should handle it ethically. Be honest and respectful, and discuss your boundaries exhaustively. If you do these, you are off for an exciting ride.






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